finding home

This first part is kind of personal. If you don't want to hear any woe is me then don't read it. I've never really liked reading other people's but I found writing this very helpful for my psyche and well. this is for me not you.... so just skip down to the *

Do you ever feel lost? I've felt utterly lost for the past few months. So disconnected from myself. A terrible mother. I feel like I need some vitameatavegamin about now to help me not get popped out at parties and more and more unpoopular. :) But seriously though. I'm beginning to think that homesickness is real. Any of y'all been homesick before?We have no long-term friends or family for miles and miles. Like 2000 miles. I mean that in all honesty. And although the people here are friendly and helpful I find myself more and more alone. Or rather just feeling alone. I think I just left my better self in Vegas. But I'm finding myself again. Slowly and surely. This most recent trip home I found very therapeutic. I nearly cried when my Mom and Dad hugged me again. I realized that partly that might be the reason I struggle out here. People don't really hug people they haven't known for a long time. As Nate knows, if I don't get enough hugs in a day, it really has an affect on my aura. Can anyone say 'love language!'?


*Anyway long story short. I've been trying to find my spot in this world which for me is at home. Finding home. It's been missing for quite some time.

I'm not saying that I've found it yet, but I feel that I've discovered how I'm going to get there. I've made a plan and I'm gonna conquer my world with it.

Part of it is that I've never really liked my house. We didn't get the house we wanted when we moved here and we found ourselves scrounging around for anything that would work. We weren't that picky... just no persistent food or animal smells. Really a big problem? I think so. However I've slowly been turning the inside of this house into my own. Quite a feat with no money I might add but I'm almost done with my bedroom and for now I'm in love with my dining room wall. Yes this is my older than the hills table... but these are some of the best chairs you'll ever sit in. Trust me on this. And I love this wall treatment. Hand painted I might add. I love it. I'm also digging the chandelier too. Made out of paint chips... :)

Nate's also been there for me a lot these past few months. It's amazing how going away for two weeks can really bring you closer together. You really start to appreciate the little things about each other a little more. Like the foot rubs he gives me.. and maybe he appreciates that I do his laundry. :) But he's been bringing me flowers pretty regularly. I think it kinda hit him when I gave all but one of my vases to Goodwill trying to decrease the extra baggage that we brought with us. But since then I've had a lot of fresh flowers on my table. It totally makes me happy every time I look at them. Did I tell you for Mother's Day that Aria and Nate went and cut down some of the naturally grown sunflowers out by the side of the country road out here? I've never felt so honored in all my life.

Anyway,  love being in my breakfast room now.

I've found that the outdoors helps me a lot. We spend tons of time outside. I hate summer here because when it's not scorching hot there's TONS of mosquitos and fire ants. The grass isn't as fun. So we ride bikes a LOT. Or run through the sprinklers a LOT.

 I've fallen in love recently with Jeff. He's so sweet now. He's saying over and over in this picture I'm cleaning up the legos, I'm cleaning up the legos... as he continues to play with them. haha.:)

 

And I've been venturing my way into the realm of video portraiture. This is my first attempt. I kinda like it. Tell me what you think.

 We went to the ballet at Miller Outdoor Theatre as a family and we LOVED it. However, It started at 8 and around 9 we had this torrential down pour I couldn't believe how much rain! We did everything we could to PROTECT the CAMERA!!!! Let's just say we were majorly soaked. Aria was so brave. and that rain was MEAN. Nate made it to the bathroom with Jeff and we only had one umbrella. But to be honest it didn't even help. I can't believe our camera made it out alive. Definitely a story to tell.

 If you can't tell, Jeff is my face maker.

 

 Aria is my sweet-heart

 And they both still ask for Burger King almost DAILY. who would've thought?

 Sweet heart Aria. She graduated from Pre-K. I'm learning that they celebrate mediocrity around here... Graduation after every year pretty much. I still think it's fun to have a party but really?

 Here she is with Ms. Delgado. She made it fun, challenging and engaging for Aria. I'm so grateful for the good experience we have had.

 Aria was so excited to have Jeff there. Jeff was just excited that he got Juice and cookies. Texas people do NOT and I repeat NOT know how to eat very well. They may disagree with me, but I find myself sick most of the time when I eat what other people bring or eat at ANY of the barbeque restaurants.

 Aria made these cute little owls for her teachers. She was really excited about them. Thank you pinterest!

 In her element. I just loved this bulletin board that the kids had done. Aria's said I will learn my ABC's and read.

 Her class!  Mrs. R, Mercedes, Ifeanyi, Alberto, Christin, Aria, Ms. Delgado, (2nd row): Max, Gabriel, Myla, Mark, Jonathon, Tamar, Angel, and Allyssa

 Playing piano makes me feel more at home. We had  a piano recital. This was the first one I played in. Here's a video. I played the song in high school but it took a lot of practicing to resurrect it. It was fun and fulfilling for me to play. I can't believe I still get the jitters about this. But apparently you never grow out of it.

 Here's Aria doing her little song...

I tried to make it feel like spring. Most of them did really well, and I was really happy about all of their performances. We had donuts and fruit.

 Finally Aria's Dance recital. Her class is so cute. Aria's dance was called dolls. You might be able to tell that they're little wind-up dolls. One of the girls couldn't be there last minute so they changed it quite a bit.

 Aria's really quite flexible and I think she's excelled pretty well.

 Miss Tricia did a FANTASTIC job.

 After the recital we all danced to their warm up song. Here we are tip-toeing.

 I definitely think I'm pretty lucky to be the Mom of this beautiful girl, inside and out. She makes me feel more like home.